i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
