ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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