Nicole vs. Life
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
