too bad you live with your parents still
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
