Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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