You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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