Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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