is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
