i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
