Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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