i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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