As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
