i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
