im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Randomize
