i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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