I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I want a musical about memes.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
