Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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