did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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