i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
