Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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