I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
