and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
