for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
