Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
