# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
