So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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