i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
