so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
