I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
