lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
your room smells of hookers.
And success
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
