Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
