Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize