Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
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