wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
