The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
