Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
