youre lurking in front of me
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
