Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
