I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
