yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Still dying that you shit outside
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
