I looked at my own cervix.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
