I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
love makes seman taste better
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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