someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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