After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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