no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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