she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
