Only a mothe r could love this liver
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
