I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize