youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
