yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
