3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
