her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
